Changes

Once upon a time, there was a girl who thought her life was perfect. She had just celebrated her thirtieth birthday, had the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with, great friends, a loving family and a career that had so much promise. As she relaxed in paradise, celebrating life, love and the future, she never suspected the unknown would creep into her existence and that she would be catapulted into a new realm that she had no desire to be in. As she lay her head down to rest that night, life seemed surreal. Surely this would last forever. It had to. Unfortunately when she awoke the next morning, the life she had become so accustomed to was gone, and she was left to pick up the pieces on her own. The end. Fortunately that was not the end of my story. Months have passed, and I am slowly coming to terms with the way things have been going this year. I've finally given up on praying that 2012 has been one long continuous nightmare, and that I'm going to wake up and it be the night BEFORE my thirtieth birthday party and I can prevent all of this from occurring...or that I've been in some unconcious dream state since last November, but I digress, as this my friends is not a dream. Writing used to be therapeutic, until I realized that everything I was immortalizing on my old blog was slowly leading me to depression. Often-times it is easier to share with the world when things are going well in your life, and the less highlights you have to share the more painful it becomes to look at your life and wonder why it appears that good things are happening for everyone else but you. So I stopped blogging, and then three months passed.

After all this time, I finally feel like I can start back writing again, only this time I won't fall victim to coveting the lives of others and wondering why things aren't going the way I want them to in my life and wondering what everyone else is doing right that is making things so much easier for them. In due time, all the desires of my heart will come to pass. Now I'm a few weeks away from my thirty-first birthday, no longer with the one I celebrated with last year, still have good friends(even though some friendships didn't survive into this new season of my life), blessed to have the support of my family and still navigating my way through the court system and trying to make moves with my career. It has definitely been a struggle, but I am certain (even though I have to convince myself of this)that things will get better and despite all these changes everything is going to be okay.....