Too Much

Today is one of those stare out the window, wonder where the sun has gone, spend too many minutes ignoring emails, while you try to figure out your purpose in life kind of days for me. I'm legit in my office wrapped in a blanket, questioning if I have enough money in my savings to give up this attorney gig & just start over writing poems on the beach or teaching yoga for puppies.

 I'm just not feeling it today. 

But I digress.  

Maybe the extreme level of not feeling it has taken hold of me because I know my vacation is on the horizon. I just have to muster through two more work days, then tropical delights await me in Puerto Rico. 

This month has just been.... Heavy. So much has happened in such a small amount of time that it's slightly overwhelming. Work is nonstop, the days are a blur and I'm genuinely exhausted. I really need a nap, a massage, and another nap. I do not see how people are managing their lives in addition to being married, taking care of children, and keeping enough sanity to avoid backflipping off a bridge. I mean sheesh, I feel like I'm barely hanging on with just the puppy & he atleast can be crated. 

I'm ranting and complaining, but I am seriously wondering how it works. And let's not even begin to discuss the gym, and meal planning and everything else being grown as fuck entails. I don't know if I need a husband or a personal assistant at this point.....

But it's all good little Fal. You're striving and surviving just like everyone else. Figuring it out along the way. Learning and adjusting when need be, but my God when does it end? < Yes, I took an interlude to give myself a pep talk.... >

Surely life is more than just being grown. Locked into routine, day after day a constant repeat of work, work, work, work work or is that what vacations are made for? Because at this point even my social life is accessible via my Outlook calendar with no room for spontaneity. Dates are strategically planned between he (him's) and I's meetings, work days & to do-s, coupled with, but first let me take my dog out then I can's....

Like real talk, how are you are all not completely insane yet??? 

April.

I know it gets redundant after awhile, but seriously how is it already April? Like the year is already a quarter of the way over...   And here I am, still feeling like I have all the time in the world, yet time is constantly passing by without my knowledge or permission. I guess that's why they say live everyday to the fullest, because at this rate those days certainly can appear as numbers with no recollection of who, what, when, where how or why about them. 

For me, April 1st brings about my official two week countdown to Puerto Rico..... Which hopefully entails my working out some more, and buying another cute swim suit that I can wear without shame. Notice I said "some more" because I really haven't been working out at all.  Daylight savings time stole my thunder. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

I have been so busy with work, and deadlines and just overall stress that I need a vacation badly. My car has been giving me issues, and I've just been tired. Life can creep up on you with no warning. Another focus of mine for this month is to work on making some fiscally responsible decisions. Save money, spend wisely and try to make every transaction worth something. 

Planning & purchasing. I don't have anything planned after I get back from Puerto Rico for the month of May. I don't like that. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that some sort of excursion drops in my lap. I'm also planning a friends 30th in New Orleans, so this month will spend a lot of time focusing on those details. I'm also assisting with a bachelorette weekend in Florida. I need to start thinking of things to do in that regard as well. 

April may not know it yet, but I plan to get back on board with getting my life together. I had fun (entirely too much fun) in March, but I got overall lazy. I need for April to be real namasté. 

We shall see how it all goes!