Today is one of those stare out the window, wonder where the sun has gone, spend too many minutes ignoring emails, while you try to figure out your purpose in life kind of days for me. I'm legit in my office wrapped in a blanket, questioning if I have enough money in my savings to give up this attorney gig & just start over writing poems on the beach or teaching yoga for puppies.
I'm just not feeling it today.
But I digress.
Maybe the extreme level of not feeling it has taken hold of me because I know my vacation is on the horizon. I just have to muster through two more work days, then tropical delights await me in Puerto Rico.
This month has just been.... Heavy. So much has happened in such a small amount of time that it's slightly overwhelming. Work is nonstop, the days are a blur and I'm genuinely exhausted. I really need a nap, a massage, and another nap. I do not see how people are managing their lives in addition to being married, taking care of children, and keeping enough sanity to avoid backflipping off a bridge. I mean sheesh, I feel like I'm barely hanging on with just the puppy & he atleast can be crated.
I'm ranting and complaining, but I am seriously wondering how it works. And let's not even begin to discuss the gym, and meal planning and everything else being grown as fuck entails. I don't know if I need a husband or a personal assistant at this point.....
But it's all good little Fal. You're striving and surviving just like everyone else. Figuring it out along the way. Learning and adjusting when need be, but my God when does it end? < Yes, I took an interlude to give myself a pep talk.... >
Surely life is more than just being grown. Locked into routine, day after day a constant repeat of work, work, work, work work or is that what vacations are made for? Because at this point even my social life is accessible via my Outlook calendar with no room for spontaneity. Dates are strategically planned between he (him's) and I's meetings, work days & to do-s, coupled with, but first let me take my dog out then I can's....
Like real talk, how are you are all not completely insane yet???
Oh girl, this quote speaks to me like you wouldn't believe and I just really "get" this post and exactly where you are coming from. I live for vacation, that is why I'm always planning the next one, but then there is that saying about creating a life you don't need a vacation from and really...it just kinda pisses me off! And there are people living that quote as we speak, but we just haven't figured out how to do it. Anyway...know that you are not alone. This adulting stuff can be super overwhelming and sometimes you can't help but wonder what the point is.
ReplyDeleteI need to give myself pep talks often and that is seriously how I have not gone completely insane. Right now I am eliminating things that do not make me happy. What is life if we're not happy? I'm making it a point to do more of what I enjoy and less time stressing about things that I can't control. Granted over 8 hours of my day is done working in a cubicle but I've been telling myself that, that leaves me with roughly 16 hours to do things I enjoy which includes sleeping. Life is hard. It is so hard but I'm trying my best to make it easier just by choices that I have control over.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending you lots and lots of good vibes and hoping that you have the best time in PR. You deserve a lot of relaxation and drinks! Enjoy for me!
At the end of MANY days I've asked myself the same question -- how am I still going? How is that I am still walking around with the sane and not confined to a room with padded walls? Adulting is hard and it is definitely not for the faint at heart.
ReplyDeleteBut we're still here man.. we are still here. Push through.