I didn't want to get out of bed Sunday morning.... My week was filled with phone calls that never came, devoid of the good morning texts I had become accustomed to, hours upon hours of days without the sun & entirely too many documents to review in the office. Needless to say my attitude had been on a continuous downward spiral and wallowing in the bed seemed like a much more viable option than getting up for church that morning. Fortunately, by habit I've trained myself to immediately roll over and check my phone first thing in the morning for any messages that may have come through while I was asleep. A text. Church..... I painstakingly rolled over and got dressed to meet my friends at the church we visited earlier this month.
As I waited for my friends arrival, the sun covered me and I instantly felt a moment of gratitude.
A moment of tranquility in the midst of the chaos that had gathered inside my mind.
And then we walked in, and after the pomp and circumstance the actual church service began...
By the first few sentences I knew this would be a message sent straight from the Lord specifically for my ears to hear.
The sermon was handcrafted to bring tears streaming down my face, and that it did.
As the pastor preached on having faith in the midst of waiting for your prayers to be answered I openly wept. Not because I was unhappy or sad, but because it truly brought comfort to me to know that what I was feeling was natural. So many times I had asked when would my prayers be answered. So many times, the things I have wanted so bad had been delayed and I truly had begun to lose hope in feeling as if those things would ever come true for me. There have been so many times where I let others drag me into believing that certain things would never come into fruition and that it was pointless to continue to pray for them to come true. The whole week prior to that moment I had asked myself why it appeared as if everyone elses prayers were being answered but mine...dreams were coming true, relationships were blooming,goals being achieved...but my prayers on halt for whatever reason.... The whole sermon was my reality...
Faith. The word slapped me in the face as it has so many times before. The one virtue that has constantly wavered throughout my journey, always a constant reminder that I must have faith. There will be obstacles and delays. Prayers will be answered in whatever order the Lord sees fit, but faith is something I must continuously have. I don't know how long it will take, but whenever it happens I will be glad it did. I must have faith and not lose sight of what I want in life just because it isn't coming when I want it to. I must continue to have faith along this journey and never cease praying for the desires in my heart. Even in the midst of waiting... I must have faith.
Patience.
After church, my friends and I decided to meet up in the park for a bike ride. I literally have not rode a bicycle since like 1994...
Seriously.
As usual I had my reservations, but I figured since the day was so beautiful I may as well forego my usual Sunday lounging & get out and do something different.
After what seemed like hours of waiting before our journey began, we finally headed out.
I would be lying if I said it was easy, and that I didn't want to give up so many times. There were so many turns and twists... Bumps along the way... obstacles. I had moments where I had to stop and catch my breathe and fight back tears because I literally felt as if I could not go on.
At one point, I watched as my friends set out in front of me as I lagged behind. I felt defeated, and almost envious as I watched them in the distance. Left behind. Almost losing control. But not once did I fall.
My friends brother stayed behind and offered advice & encouragement... We traveled at our own pace, as I admired the scenery. We rode through the park, into downtown and then finally we reached a stopping point.
As I hopped off my bike, I not only felt angry but annoyed that they had sped by so many things without taking the opportunity to gaze upon the sights...
and in that moment of frustration (and one of my friends popping off) I turned around and saw what the rush had been about. The view of the entire downtown skyline was behind us.
Sometimes life is not about keeping up the pace with everyone else. Everyone has their own obstacles to overcome, their own sights to see, their own falls...setbacks, twists and turns...but ultimately if you keep pushing and moving forward you will all make it in the exact manner that you are supposed to. There is no need to rush, or take short cuts... Just keep going, and working towards your goals....
After taking a moment to admire our city and have a mini-photo session, we took off for our next destination...
Mango Beach.
Snow cones & fried desserts gave us the fuel we needed to finish the final leg of our ride.
I was able to keep up the rest of the way. After miles of practice, I finally got the hang of things.
It was easy, like riding a bike.....
No pun intended.
I had to fight through it, but I didn't lose sight of our final destination.
I had moments of weakness, but I told myself to keep pushing.... keep pedaling, until finally we made it.
Life really is a journey. We must have faith in knowing that one day everything will fall into place. Every set back, and every delay will prepare us for that moment when we are ready to cross the finish line. All the people that leave us behind, everyone that you watch in the distance.... Maybe they left for a reason, and maybe they are too far off in the the distance for us to really see the things they are dealing with on their own. Just keep going.
The feeling of finally making it feels so good, but the battle getting there is what really matters.
Life really is a journey...
