Currently....

Linking up on this cold & sickly Thursday.....

Feeling: Like crap. I started feeling sick Monday, left work early Tuesday and went to the doctor, and still on Thursday feeling sub-par. I have court this afternoon, so I feel as if I will be crashing once I'm done with my hearings. 

Reading: Prescription labels? Does that count? No. Oh... I did however start this book, but fell asleep on like page 1. See above as to how I'm feeling right now. 

Watching: The puppy enjoy his late night tv binges. I just haven't been feeling any shows at the moment. He on the other hand has.... 

Thinking about: My trip next weekend to New Orleans for Mardi Gras & the Zulu Ball. 

Plans. Life. Evaluating. Observing. 

A lot is on my mind actually. 

Hoping: That I feel better soon. And that I can get some of the thoughts running through my mind to chill so I can get back on track sans any stress or worrying. 

Needing: A trip to the beach. A break. 

This Will Be....

This will be a rant...

Or maybe, bitch session is a better description of how I'm feeling. Either way, I just feel like complaining, and whining, and discussing everything I'd rather be doing right now than at work in my office. Blame Mother Nature, or me. Or both....

Maybe I'm not a fan of January's. Too many expectations, not enough sunlight. This January has been so slow that it's starting to piss me off. It feels and looks disgusting outside. Everyone is in hibernation mode and doesn't want to do anything. All of my friends are on self-proclaimed diets so there goes the random midday lunch dates, happy hours & brunch outings. It's too cold to be fashionable, but then it's still Houston so it could be hot the next day, which leads to more clothing frustration. Going to court everyday in January is no good. Suits. Wind. Skirts. Just no. 

My brain has been in a fog. I don't feel productive which leads to guilt. I feel guilty for not doing more. I want to do more but then I hit a mental road block and just end up crashing when I get home. I should be doing so many things, but my motivation is at a minimum. I went out and bought fresh flowers for my apartment just because I needed some life in my space. 

Flowers helped a little. Then, I got the bright idea that I needed a wreath as well. I went to Michael's and opted to get the supplies to make my own, because you know I create things. I'm creative. I went to start working on my creation after work yesterday and then was like nah. I'll be heading back to Michaels today to return said purchase & will just buy the one I saw that I liked, because I just can't. My mind is too out of sorts. 

Mercury in retrograde? Or just me needing to get my shit together. I'm not sure. 

I need to see things everyday and focus on visualization. I wrote power words on my chalkboard so I can leave everyday with them on my mind. 

Seeing is believing apparently. 

I'm praying for some sunshine this weekend. Tomorrow I'm taking a mental health day, so hopefully a break from the day to day will get me back centered and refocused. I'm not unhappy or anything like that. I'm just antsy. Things need to get moving. I need something better than good to happen. I need some new life breathed into me. I need a get-away, some new scenery, a drive down a different street, a taste of a new dish, a frolic in the park. Something. Just not this same old, same old routine. I need some newness. 

End rant. 

Five Days In......

I completely missed the mark on having a 2015/Christmas/NYE recap ready to go.... 

Because in all honesty, fuck sorry not sorry 2015.....

Although a lot of monumental things occurred last year, like a lot of travel (New York, Austin, New Orleans, Chicago, Abu Dhabi, New Delhi, Agra, Dubai, Baton Rouge) a lot of changes & transitions (moved into my new place, lost my grandmother, dealt with the on-going after math of having a parent with a degenerative disease) and a lot of prove your strength moments, and so on and so forth.... this year was almost too much. 

When the clock struck midnight, I literally had to take a moment and step outside because tears were streaming down my face. This was definitely my first time ever crying with not only relief but realization that I had made it through the year. I feel like every hard year is met with disbelief and recognition that you made it through once the new year rolls around, but at some point something has got to give right? With that being said, I have decided to skip the recap and just focus solely on what lies ahead. I would be lying if I said it were easy to just look beyond everything that occurred last year, but what I do want to focus on is taking everything that did happen last year and using it as a testament and attribute to everything I will accomplish & live through gracefully this new year.

As it stands, we are five days in to the new year and I can wholeheartedly say that I do not have any resolutions.... I actually kind of prefer the term "intentions" over resolutions.

Of my various intentions, I plan to focus on creativity, love, compassion, freedom & planning......

Being an attorney, legit monopolizes one side of my brain, while holding the other side hostage. I want to write. I want to create. I want to be surrounded by beautiful words, and people, characters & energy. It is my intention to do just that this year. Every event, moment, opportunity, space & avenue available I want to take advantage of. I welcome all creative (caveat: must be positive) souls & energies I come into contact with as long as their purpose is to inspire me to do my work.....

Love. I said it in my last post. Still feel the exact same way about it. I am open, and finally ready to welcome it into my life.

I started out as a legal aid attorney. I miss pro bono work. I miss volunteerism. I miss helping. It is my intent to become more involved in my passion. I lost sight of it along the way, but my heart yearns to get back to my roots. This year I need to get more active in the community & doing things that benefit not only myself....


Freedom & planning. Sounds contradictory, but to me they make perfect sense. I'm happy when I have things to do. I have the freedom and ability to do whatever it is I want to do.... I must plan on doing something. This year, I retreated so far into myself that I lost time & missed opportunities to experience so many things. I don't want life to pass me by. Although I love my peaceful in the house moments, there is so much more to life than that. I live in a major city, yet know hardly anything about what is going on in the city. I need to do better. While I have the freedom & autonomy to do things, I must also make an effort to make plans and actually do stuff. Once I have a child and other responsibilities, I won't have as much freedom as I do now. I need to utilize this time wisely so I will not be left with any regrets when I enter into the next stage of my existence.

2016 is going to be more purposeful than 2015.....

I have set my intentions & and am ready to truly live and enjoy my year.

And since my friends and I were cute on NYE, I'll go ahead and make a shameless plug and post a few pictures below:

Fin.