Or maybe, bitch session is a better description of how I'm feeling. Either way, I just feel like complaining, and whining, and discussing everything I'd rather be doing right now than at work in my office. Blame Mother Nature, or me. Or both....
Maybe I'm not a fan of January's. Too many expectations, not enough sunlight. This January has been so slow that it's starting to piss me off. It feels and looks disgusting outside. Everyone is in hibernation mode and doesn't want to do anything. All of my friends are on self-proclaimed diets so there goes the random midday lunch dates, happy hours & brunch outings. It's too cold to be fashionable, but then it's still Houston so it could be hot the next day, which leads to more clothing frustration. Going to court everyday in January is no good. Suits. Wind. Skirts. Just no.
My brain has been in a fog. I don't feel productive which leads to guilt. I feel guilty for not doing more. I want to do more but then I hit a mental road block and just end up crashing when I get home. I should be doing so many things, but my motivation is at a minimum. I went out and bought fresh flowers for my apartment just because I needed some life in my space.
Flowers helped a little. Then, I got the bright idea that I needed a wreath as well. I went to Michael's and opted to get the supplies to make my own, because you know I create things. I'm creative. I went to start working on my creation after work yesterday and then was like nah. I'll be heading back to Michaels today to return said purchase & will just buy the one I saw that I liked, because I just can't. My mind is too out of sorts.
Mercury in retrograde? Or just me needing to get my shit together. I'm not sure.
I need to see things everyday and focus on visualization. I wrote power words on my chalkboard so I can leave everyday with them on my mind.
Seeing is believing apparently.
I'm praying for some sunshine this weekend. Tomorrow I'm taking a mental health day, so hopefully a break from the day to day will get me back centered and refocused. I'm not unhappy or anything like that. I'm just antsy. Things need to get moving. I need something better than good to happen. I need some new life breathed into me. I need a get-away, some new scenery, a drive down a different street, a taste of a new dish, a frolic in the park. Something. Just not this same old, same old routine. I need some newness.
End rant.
I feel like January is always so weird because you know in your mind that it's an new year. And the expectations to do better than the year before hits you like a ton of bricks and then when you're just moving with the motions like you did the year before it makes you feel like you're at a standstill. But honestly, you're not. Right now I'm welcoming the calm, Lord knows that the calm is really appreciated right now.
ReplyDeleteI think a mental day is always needed especially when you feel like you're at a standstill. I hope that with a little bit of a longer weekend you can get out there, breathe in some fresh air, do something new, even if it's all by yourself. Who knows? Monday you might be feeling inspired and ready to make 2016 your b*tch.
Thanks girl, youre so right.
DeleteJanuary is always bittersweet. It is new beginning, but also a time of vision casting for the New Year. Sometimes a change of scenery and just taking that time for yourself to reflect really helps. A short getaway to do nothing but just BE.
ReplyDeleteHopefully, things will turn around for you and soon! January can be kind of a let down. The holidays are over and and it's back to work and you feel like you are supposed to be doing all of these things but it's so cold that you just want to bury your head under a blanket!!
ReplyDelete