This Life...

This life that I live, is uniquely mine. It's ups, and downs. Curve-balls, home runs & sometimes strikeouts. Hits & misses. Mix in a little dash of random fortune & abundant blessings....and you get me. Just living.

It's funny how life is. The moments where you feel like you have it all figured out are typically the times when God steps in and takes you down an entirely different course...a path that you never anticipated stepping foot on, a detour that didn't register on your google map. Sometimes we have difficulty enjoying the journey during the rough times, but one thing life has taught me is that even when things are bad it's almost guaranteed to get better. And most often, that better is greater than you ever could have imagined.

...No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”
(1 Corinthians 2:9, NLT)

I know I've been super random all day, but my mind has been in a constant stage of randomness from the time I went to bed last night till now. Between re-reading the Alchemist, several conversations with friends & just enjoying the ride, I have really been thinking a lot about life. Different people have spoken words to me that I know had to come straight from the Lord.

"Peace be still." "A blessing is on the way." "You're exactly where you're supposed to be at this moment in time."

Last week, shall I say, was bullshit rough. WOrk was a nightmare & I completely was in a state of regret for my leaving my previous firm and coming over to my current firm. Everyone got on my nerves, and I literally wanted to pack up my belongings and run away from the office as fast as I could. Fortunately enough, everyone could sense my angst and by Friday things had calmed down a bit. I needed this past weekend to completely let go of all of that stress and to just detox....

On Friday, happy hour & a late night trip to The Flat set the scene for my unwinding. It felt good to just relax and let go,without feeling the strong desire to shove trial notices down anyones throat.

By the time Saturday night rolled around, I was feeling waaaaaaaayyyy better! Birthday festivities kicked off for one of my good friends & a good time was had by all. So much happened. So much so, that my best friend and I began to compile a list. Regretfully due to my oath of character & fitness I won't be able to share that list.... But, I digress.

The morning after....The Struggle Was Real.... Brunch was cancelled. We didn't return to life until that evening. We went to dinner and I was snuggly cloaked up in bed well before 10 pm on Sunday night....

My Monday was short due to a doctor's appointment & I was able to come home early to revel in the beauty of the new moon. (See, more randomness.) I like who I am becoming. I like that I am still learning to love myself. I appreciate where I am at. Yes, I often want more...and that's fine. But, this life. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I'm grateful for this life.

#OTR

On the Run was EVERYTHING! Two days have passed and my voice is still hoarse from all the screaming and singing at the top of my lungs....my feet are still aching from dancing in heels the entire two hour show. I loved Jay-Z, and of course Bey was her usual fabulous self. Was it everything I expected? Yes, but I do believe all the hype surrounding the show had me thinking it was going to be something different. Did I enjoy? Hell. Yes.

So happy for the splurge to sit on the floor of the venue. I even made a new friend. We were dancing and singing so much, that her husband switched seats with her so that we could party together. Our poor dates got no attention from us whatsoever.

I'm glad that a lot of my close friends also went to the show, so we were able to have tons of photo shoots all around Minute Maid Park. Outfit planning was everything.....

I'm so happy I got to experience the show live..... Next up, the Lil Boosie concert on August 2nd... Yes, I can go from bourgeois to rachet in 0 to 60 seconds... Judging or nah? LOL :)

Scenes....

Mental Health Day

This was an extremely long weekend for me. In addition the 4th of July Friday off from work, I decided to extend my vacation and take a much needed mental health day today. 

No, I'm not crazy...well, not on most days... but I really just needed a day to myself to take care of myself. Granted I definitely do my part of taking care of myself, but most weekends I usually can't get everything I need to do, done. Some errands are handled M-F, on a 9-5 basis, which doesn't work well for me since I'm not usually leaving my office until 6 or sometimes after. And when I'm leaving work, I'm usually struggling to make it through traffic to my side of town to get a lot of my business handled. But I digress. 

Since I transitioned to my new firm, it's been non-stop work. The last vacation I had was in December, which was months ago now. (And I didn't go anywhere...) I also didn't take any time off whatsoever when I changed jobs, so needless to say I needed a break. 

My July 4th was super low key. I usually don't get all celebratory for the holiday since, let's face it, my ancestors were not popping fireworks and enjoying freedom back in 1776..but that's an entirely different story for another day. I spent my day sleeping, reading & relaxing. Then later that night I rolled over to meet one of my besties for dinner & swung by another friends apartment for a few shots, I mean minutes, ha... then headed home. 

For some reason I don't remember Saturday, but I feel like my attitude was trash. I didn't leave the bed and don't remember talking to another living soul all day. Oh, and it rained. 

By the time Sunday rolled around, I was feeling like a normal human being again. After a nice chat with my mother, I didn't feel so bahumbug about life anymore. A friend and I headed out for a little Sunday Funday: translation, cheap bellini's and carafes of hibiscus mimosas + hookah & girl talk on the patio of an undisclosed location. Surprisingly, the heat was bearable so we were able to enjoy some time outside. She was even gracious enough to snap a few photos for me on the patio. I posted a few on Instagram, if anyone is interested... I didn't like how they showed up since I used my iPhone, so I'll spare the blog the bad photography. 

It was my first time at this spot, but I will definitely be back. It was definitely the right vibe for some good old chill and unwind times. 

I don't know why I overthink. Or get myself into feelings of discontent. I discredit all that I have done and all that I have accomplished so often that it's sickening. I just told myself last weekend that I needed to focus on the positive, and just like that I spent a large majority of the weekend with a case of the what-if's and why-not-me's. It's so easy to fall into a pattern of comparison & second guessing, but it is my goal to work on looking past those feelings. I get that it's human nature, but I think a part of maturing and growing in my journey is to learn how to be happy with the life I have and focus on making it the life I want. I waste entirely too much energy thinking about what I don't have or why certain things are taking too long to come into fruition..... I take so much for granted. 

I'm a work in progress, but a part of that work is to be grateful. Another part is to not compare my life and my journey to anyone else's path. I need to focus on my peace, and my growth and my forwardness & eventually everything will fall into place. Next time I feel those feelings creeping in, I will log off the social networks and put all my attention on my self worth. Everything is fine. Everything will happen right when it is supposed to. The best is yet to come. I'm grateful for everything I've been through, and for everything I've been kept from. This is my life. I am grateful for it. 

And if all else fails, I can always go shopping. Or take a long long nap. 

And if all of that doesn't help, I take a mental health day so I can reflect & put things into perspective. 

And that typically works.....