Gone Till November.....

It's been quiet around these parts lately. In trying to salvage my emotions, I've tried to stay focused on work, or staying busy but then reality hit me. My dad has been in the hospital for going on two weeks now. My mother met with the social worker at the hospital, and they made the recommendation that he be placed in a 24 hour assisted living facility to monitor him and make sure he is cared for properly. 

Although we have toyed with the idea as his condition began to worsen, actually hearing it rained down on my mama like a ton of bricks. He never wanted to live anywhere but at home. Hes still fully functioning, not sick, not unable to do things for himself yet his mind is going. And going to the point that it's just not safe for him to be at home alone. 

He doesn't understand the severity of it, and doesn't remember all the things that occur when he has those moments of not being himself, or not knowing who we are, or being paranoid and lost or thinking we are out to get him. The wandering away, getting lost. Like serious stuff that put him and others in danger. 

People tend to think that people are not really sick if they don't have cancer or diabetes or one of the more recognizable illnesses, but I can tell you first hand sickness of the mind is just as bad. Having someone who loved you for years look at you like a stranger hurts. Like extremely bad. 

Although I don't know what the future holds, I just hope the universe is fair and forgiving and doesn't allow my daddy to suffer too long in a place that he does not want to be. I hope that my mother is able to come to terms with losing her other half and I'm just grateful for all the years of being daddies little girl, even though now those memories are fading away. 

Life isn't always fair. But I guess sometimes we just have to deal with the cards we are dealt the best we can.