Daddy.

People always say that losing a parent is one of the hardest things in the world to deal with. I can fully attest that losing a parent who is physically still here with you is just as hard.

Watching someone lose themselves, the love, the trust, the memories, every piece of everything that makes them, them..... The frustration, the confusion, the bewilderment of not knowing where you are... The paranoia, the blank expression that used to be filled with love and admiration from daddy... Fading away.

Glimmers of you peak through, but the you in "you" dulls as each day progresses. The anger, the sheer moments of painstaking rage.. You were so much in control of taking care of us, that it kills you to have these roles reserved. You were strength, you were my hero, my motivation, the one who kept me on track, who pushed me, inspired me.... but today do you even remember my name?

Sickness robs you of your sanity, your reasoning, your wit.... your cool demeanor, the charming personality... the man who without failure always told me I was beautiful and encouraged me to do my best.... every. single. day. A father, constantly involved... Make daddy some A's... You're beautiful, your're smart, you're my world. Truly daddy's little girl. Spoiled.

Spoiled by him, and it is literally killing me to see him disappear each day. Memories fade... Moments disappear. Time frozen, but in a time before I existed. The past. Long term memories. The yesteryears. You remember the past, but not the part that I was a part of.

A time before daddy's little girl stole your heart. Moments of remembrance are fleeting. I long for that bond. I yearn for the moments taken for granted.

And while they're leaving you,

I still cling to the memories of,

Daddy.

It's hard watching someone you love disappear right before your eyes.
Not all diseases are physical and take a toll on your body.
Some diseases creep up on you in the form of misplaced keys, forgetting where you parked, paying that bill twice, struggling to say the right word....

That leads to anxiety, stress, misdiagnosis....
Confusion.

Slowing down of cognitive functions, until it's too late to slow down the progression.

There is no cure.

Alzheimer's is a despicable disease.

You already stole one grandmother,

& now you have come after Daddy.