No titles, just feelings...

As far as days go, one hundred and eight have passed since I last graced the pages of this sacred place. Life has been intensity, it's been peace. It's been solitude, it's been camaraderie. It's been excitement, it's been hope. It's been tragedy... It's been grammatically incorrect.
The days have been long and at times the nights even longer. I've tried and failed, liked and lusted, and in the midst of it all still found time to find my way back to myself. Needless to say, I have lived a lot during my time away. And as such, the pain associated with growth and change has held firmly to my collar in attempts of slowing down the process. I want to embrace change. I am hopeful. Almost as hopeful as I am resistant, but still hopeful.

I hate the month long hiatuses where I fail to forever commemorate the various benchmarks in my life. I wish there were more ways to record my undying need to trust my intuition and all of the mishaps that aided in this revolution. I'm here and I'm ready. Most importantly I'm real. In my heart I know I will forever be one who carries their emotions on their sleeve. But these last few months, this year really has taught me how to trust my emotions a little less than I trust my intellect. I am love. Love is all I desire most, so obviously it will be highly sought after. My love though, does not mean that I will continue to be accepting of any and every energy thrown in my direction. Be steadfast. Trust your first mind, your first impression... Just, trust you.

There is no rhyme or reason behind my musings. I just know I want these last few weeks of the year to be a reflection of all I have been through and grown through. I need love. Selfish love, self love. More than just artificial, unauthentic love. Consistency. Willingness. I need passion...
The eloquence of a breakdown is almost as beautiful as a breakthrough. These last few weeks have been release, they have been clarity, they have been hope. About the other things, I will relive them when the time comes. Until then I will bask in these feelings and embrace what is to come.

With love.