-34-

Yesterday, November 9th, I turned 34. And although the occasion went without all the bells & whistles I usually reserve for birthday celebrations, my day was still everything is was supposed to be. I had a low- key weekend filled with laughter, warmth, peace, friendship, love and rest.

My best friend from law school came down for the weekend to see my new place and for birthday QT since it had been a year since we saw each other last. We headed out the door minutes after her arrival to make an 8pm dinner reservation... I honestly wasn't in the mood for celebrations this year, but another girlfriend of mine encouraged me to at the least have dinner or something to prevent me from spending the Friday before my birthday in pajamas... so we were off to Danton's Gulf Coast Seafood.

I kept it intimate, and small with only a couple of my girlfriends. The positive energy and light was exactly what I needed to lift my spirits. We eat good, talked about life and of course took photos before heading home...

My friend and I were up bright & early the next morning for the 2015 Walk to End Alzheimer's. Since I was a team captain, I was responsible for organizing the team meet up and getting shirts for everyone. Everyone was in good spirits for the walk, despite the terrible weather but we braved the storm and not only finished the walk but exceeded our team fundraising goal! I'm kind of upset I missed my personal goal of $500 by a measly $125, but I am still happy that collectively we raised over $1350 to support the cause!

After the walk, we grabbed lunch, made a pit stop at Target & returned home to a sick puppy. I won't even let all the shit mess I cleaned up take up too much space in my memories, but my God... For something so cute and small, so much shit..... I guess this is how parents feel with their babies. But I digress.

After that horrific clean up, I deserved some rest. And rest we did. Hours passed, and we slept, and slept and slept. We were so lazy, that we didn't even want to get to cook food, or leave to get anything. Another friend from law school came through in the clutch. Not only did he bring us food, he pretty much got us exactly what we wanted based off a list of cravings we sent him. Real MVP, he stayed and played life catch up with us while we sat on our couch looking homeless in our headscarves and me in my duster. We were literally falling asleep on him by the time he finally left....

I slept in Sunday morning, and afternoon & probably would have continued to sleep had I not told my friends to meet us at 1:45 pm to carpool to the Renaissance Festival. We finally made it to the fairgrounds after about an hour ride into the middle of the country. We even saw confederate flags flying along the way deeper into the country. When we finally made it, we were instantly transported back in time to the days of knights and wizards.

The Renaissance Festival was so much fun! The perfect mix of friends, and just an overall good time....
We walked around for hours eating, drinking, shopping, site-seeing and my best friend from college & I were even able to get our palms read...
My friends are insane! I wouldn't have it any other way.

I didn't take as many photos as I would have liked, but the jokes will forever be etched in my mind.

Good times, great people, excellent wine.

I made Monday, my actual birthday a mental health day & took a day away from the office. I had a spa appointment scheduled, as well a few other to-do's but overall I just wanted a tranquil birthday.

First off, the spa treatment gave me my ENTIRE life. Raindrop therapy. If your spa offers it, splurge and go for it. Definitely worth it....

After spa day, we grabbed food and went back to my place for a bit while my cable got installed....

It took, a while.

Then finally they were done, and we ran to the mall to test our chakra stability in Aveda.... Apparently, my 7th chakra needs balancing....

It's my goal to work on that alignment.

I ended my birthday with my family. We ate, they sang happy birthday, and I was officially 34.....

So many emotions flooded over me, and I legit spent the last few hours of my birthday in tears....

Once I get my crown chakra back where it needs to be I'll be good,
until then, the way my chakras set up.

My birthday was far from my norm, but perfect nonetheless.

It was filled with all of the right elements, vibes, feelings and people....

This year will be better than the next.

Cheers.

Countdowns....

I can honestly say that this is probably the first year in a long time where I have not counted down the days until my birthday. (It's on the 9th.......) I'm usually super excited and have a laundry list of plans laid out in anticipation of the day. But, this year has been a lot.......

So instead of counting down the days until, I'm counting down some of the lessons & things I've learned over these last 33 soon to be 34 years....

34. Don't be afraid to say no. A lot of times I did things just because I was too scared to say no. What I've learned is, your friends won't mind as there is always a next time. And anyone who gets  mad at you for not wanting to do something probably is selfish and doesn't care as much about you as they should anyway. 

33. Bend but don't break. Piggy backing off the no, if you have to do something, at least be brave enough to do it on your own terms or at least compromise. 

32. Don't be afraid to buy something that you want every once in a while. 

31. Don't be afraid to try new things. Foods included. Had it not been from some convincing from a friend I would have never known the joy of Southwestern Eggrolls from Chili's. I'm still working on trying out sushi...

30. It's okay to be selfish every once in awhile. 

29. And if you choose to be selfish, make sure it's for a good reason. 

28. It's also okay to put your needs first. 

27. But, if you do decide to put you first, make sure it's not at anyone's detriment. 

26. Smile. 

25.  It's okay to cry. 

24. Don't compare yourself to others. 

23. Jealously is not acceptable in any situation because you never know the behind the scenes on any story. 

22. Everyone is not meant to be in your life forever. 

21. Season or a reason, is probably the most real advice ever. Period. 

20. Change is inevitable. Accept it. 

19.  Love doesn't hurt. In any form or fashion. 

18. If somebody is holding you down and stopping you from reaching your full potential, they probably don't belong in your life. 

17. Don't date just for fun. You want to be married, so don't waste your time on men who tell you up front they don't believe in marriage. 

16. If somebody cheats once, twice, fifteen times, stop forgiving them and move the hell on. 

15. Mother usually knows best, but not all the time. 

14. Some experiences are yours alone, and are not meant to be shared. 

13. Vibes never lie. 

12. Trust your instinct. 

11. Don't believe every thing you read, see or hear. 

10. Protect your heart. It's one of your most prized possessions and everyone doesn't deserve a chance to experience it. 

9. Be selective on who you give yourself to. Everybody doesn't deserve to experience that aspect of you either. 

8. It's okay to make them wait. 

7. And if you don't feel like waiting, then.....

6. Hard work does pay off. 

5. Risking it all every now and then isn't always a bad thing. 

4. Save something for a rainy day. Budget is important. 

3. Stop second guessing yourself. You know more than you think. 

2. Don't wallow in your pain. Although I'm still working on this one. You would think the proof would be in the pudding. But I digress. 

I think the most important lesson I've learned is:

1. Give people their flowers while they're here. Losing my grandmother the day BEFORE her birthday definitely changed my perspective on life and living. Not a day is promised. Not even your birthday. Even dealing with the issues with my father. I can only hope the I Love You's and positive memories are stored deep down inside in a place that disease can't touch. You have to let people know how you feel about them in the now. You have to live in the present and enjoy every moment you can because life is not for forever. Nothing is. 

Gone Till November.....

It's been quiet around these parts lately. In trying to salvage my emotions, I've tried to stay focused on work, or staying busy but then reality hit me. My dad has been in the hospital for going on two weeks now. My mother met with the social worker at the hospital, and they made the recommendation that he be placed in a 24 hour assisted living facility to monitor him and make sure he is cared for properly. 

Although we have toyed with the idea as his condition began to worsen, actually hearing it rained down on my mama like a ton of bricks. He never wanted to live anywhere but at home. Hes still fully functioning, not sick, not unable to do things for himself yet his mind is going. And going to the point that it's just not safe for him to be at home alone. 

He doesn't understand the severity of it, and doesn't remember all the things that occur when he has those moments of not being himself, or not knowing who we are, or being paranoid and lost or thinking we are out to get him. The wandering away, getting lost. Like serious stuff that put him and others in danger. 

People tend to think that people are not really sick if they don't have cancer or diabetes or one of the more recognizable illnesses, but I can tell you first hand sickness of the mind is just as bad. Having someone who loved you for years look at you like a stranger hurts. Like extremely bad. 

Although I don't know what the future holds, I just hope the universe is fair and forgiving and doesn't allow my daddy to suffer too long in a place that he does not want to be. I hope that my mother is able to come to terms with losing her other half and I'm just grateful for all the years of being daddies little girl, even though now those memories are fading away. 

Life isn't always fair. But I guess sometimes we just have to deal with the cards we are dealt the best we can. 

Growth.

Fall has always been my favorite time of the year. The chill in the air, the colors, the warmth of my favorite blanket and a cup of cocoa, pumpkin patches, football games and of course Homecoming.... This past weekend my undergraduate alma mater celebrated their Homecoming. Despite us losing the game, the entire city was filled with energy to cheer on the University and welcome back alumni. This was my second year in a row returning to Baton Rouge to celebrate the occasion. The last time I did a two in a row stint, I was ridiculously underwhelmed. Fortunately history did not repeat itself this go round.

My best friend and I set out on a road trip from Houston to Baton Rouge Friday afternoon and despite battling traffic in Beaumont, Lake Charles and Lafayette, managed to make it into town before the sun went down. We were starving by the time we crossed the bridge over the Mississippi River and headed straight to Chimes East to devour some food before the nights festivities began. A friend who has been working in Louisiana for a few weeks came to join us for dinner. As we were waiting outside the restaurant my former best friend from undergrad was walking out. At first she acted as if she didn't want to greet my friend and I, but maybe being back in my old stomping grounds reignited the bitch fire in me and I forced her to speak. After that seemingly awkward moment, we all agreed that Homecoming was off to an interesting start and would definitely be eventful.

Apparently the entire city had the idea to eat at Chimes East Friday night, because it was like one big reunion with me greeting someone every few minutes. We ate like kings, and laughed for a few hours, then parted ways with out friend and headed straight to Albertson's to buy liquor supplies for the night.

At this point in time, I would go into detail about the evenings festivities, but I will keep it simple. We went out, we still had it, and we left.... and the struggle was real to wake up the next morning.

I had every intention of making it to the parade the next morning. But after having not went to sleep until 4am, I didn't wake up the next morning until dang near 11 am. Then I took a nap while my friend got dressed. After sitting in traffic for over an hour, we finally arrived on campus and parked (which was an adventure all in itself) by 3:30 pm...

The walk onto the campus of Southern University always initially leaves me on the verge of tears. Just to be in that place, with all the memories flooding over me. It always takes me back to those bittersweet moments in time. For four and a half years, I lived in Baton Rouge. The beginnings of my adult life were spent on that campus. My first real life experiences, mistakes, heartbreaks, adventures, triumphs and upsets all happened on that campus. To me, that campus means so much more than the degree that is still in its cover at my parents house, and the t-shirts I proudly display on weekends where I don't feel like getting dressed. That campus represents growth, and my progression into the woman I am today.

I took thousands of steps across this bridge over the course of those years at Southern. Some of the moments have faded away to the farthest corners of my memory while others are easily accessible at the forefronts of my mind.

Every turn as we walked from in front of the union, down the strip held some remnant of the past. We took in all the changes, observed the actions of the current students and compared to our times on the yard. We ate, tailgated, walked and laughed some more as we just took it all in. Before we even arrived in the city I had told my friend that I wanted to take some pictures near the river before we left. Can't even front, just walking near that part of campus literally almost brought me to tears. Maybe I was just emotional this weekend, I don't know, but this year was just different. I valued the moments a little more, and it just felt different being there. I think it was in that moment that I completely was able to acknowledge how momentous my time in college was.

The growth.

I really became a new version of myself in undergrad. I was able to grow, and experiment. Take chances and risks, and really flourish. Now in all fairness, a lot of those risks were not the smartest, safest or wisest, but the lessons I learned have transcended the years. Despite all of that, I can genuinely say that I'm not the same person I became while there. College was a catalyst for change. Had it not been for Southern University, I would not be who I am today. I had to be there to become who I am now.

This year, Homecoming was more than just parties & celebration..... it was about realization, reminiscing and moving forward. It was about growth. I grew up at Southern, and now I am grown.

And of course, no recap of Homecoming is complete without a few outfit posts and food pictures. I ate so much over the weekend, that I have probably experienced growth in more ways than one. But, I digress.

Onward and upward, until next time Southern U!

Adjustments.

It's been almost a month since my trip overseas, and since my return, life has been all about adjustments. 

The seasons have changed, both literally and figuratively. Mindsets, mentality, habits, thoughts, even where I rest my head at... These last couple of weeks have been filled with changes. And with change comes that shift, uncomfortable, anxious feelings that leave you with no choice but to switch up your routine and make some adjustments. 

My best friend told me the other day that being uncomfortable was important for growth. Change is supposed to be scary. Without that fear you won't be motivated to move out of your comfort zone. If you weren't uncomfortable, you would never adjust your behavior to make the situation feel better for you. Sometimes change is on purpose, other times the changes happen and the circumstances are outside of your control, but still you must make adjustments in order to continue to move forward.

I must admit, I'm easily consumed by my worries. It's my Achilles heel. Change. I hate it. I'm a stickler for rules, plans, regularity. Even with the mishaps of our trip, I had to learn to go with the flow without literally loosing it. My hardest battle has been to not let changes completely ruin my mindset. I complain, I cry, I become that woe is me individual when things don't work out according to my plan, but one thing that I have noticed in all of that is that my feelings don't really matter. Life is going to happen regardless of if it asks my permission or not. Which method is more productive, letting domething completely destroy me, or making adjustments that ease my level of comfort?

Of course I know this is easier said than done. And change, my God, changes can sometimes hurt to the core.... But it's inevitable that we have to make the adjustments and continue the best way we know how. Thoughts are powerful. It's hard to train your mind to not become completely consumed with fear, doubt, loneliness or anxiety, but things won't get better until you make the necessary adjustments. 

This Fall, I said I wanted to be like the trees and shed everything that no longer served a purpose for me mentally or spiritually. It's going to be hard. I have no doubt about that, but I refuse to stay stuck in the same place forever. I must continue to grow. It is imperative that I continue to challenge myself, so new things, embrace change.

I am determined to work on the adjustments. Life is a constant state of adjusting. 

Abu Dhabi

The Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi literally left us speechless. Words cannot describe the emotions we felt stepping inside this structure, and no photograph could do it any justice. This was the perfect sight to see our last day in the United Arab Emirates. We were exhausted, irritable, and hungry by the time we made it to Abu Dhabi. We had taken the bus from Dubai, and slept the majority of the way. A friend of a friend was gracious enough to take us to dinner after we explored the Grand Mosque and Emirates Palace, and let us shower and rest at her beautiful home before our late night flight back to JFC/NYC. Since nothing I write can fully depict the elegance, the mystique, the power and extravagance of things, I will simply leave you with pictures.

It was a truly humbling, and spiritual moment.