Seasons

Life is about perpetual change. We learn, we evolve, we grow older... We face hardships, we experience happiness, we make mistakes. There are very few things in life that actually stay the same. Sometimes we enter periods of our lives where it feels like things will never be different from the way they are now. We see the situation we are in, but we fail to look beyond them.

For me, it was as if I had convinced myself that good things only happen to other people. I would see the celebrations, the promotions, the new additions and I would ask myself when would it be my turn? After posing that question so many times without seeing results, I lost hope that I was one of the chosen ones. I told myself that it would never be my turn.

Sometimes you genuinely have to detach yourself, from yourself.... Your thoughts, your so-called expectations and ideals of how things are supposed to be can sometimes be your own worse enemy. I had so many plans of what should be vs. what should really be at the moment. I craved change, but fought against it for so long. I stayed in situations longer than I should have. I talked myself out of opportunities. I avoided conflict, played it safe. I did all of these things just to preserve something that I was afraid to let go of. I stopped looking because I was just so sure that there was nothing, or nobody else out there for me.

My biggest mistake was failing to realize the only constant in my life, the Lord. All of those situations, all of those seasons, all of those changes...He has been there all along. I don't know how I ignored all those currants of life. All of those ups, downs, and periods of stillness that have written the story of who I am today. I've had extremely difficult times, and pure blissful ones as well. But through them all, God has been there to steer me in the right direction even when I have made the wrong decisions. Even when I didn't see a way out, he placed me in the right places at the right times. Although I don't have all the things I've convinced myself that I need at this moment...His track record has proven that they will all come in due time.

I prayed for an opportunity to come up. I prayed for increase. I prayed for something to catapult me into the right direction. I'd given up, and convinced myself that it would never happen. Time passed. I stopped looking. I settled back into my normal routine, and when I least expected it things just fell into place. As the seasons change, so does life into a new direction of this journey I've been placed upon.

Not only does tomorrow bring about Spring, it also brings about a first day in a new position for me. A new set of challenges, a different skill set to be utilized...a change. Seasons change, but one thing that remains the same is His love for us... Staying faithful, prayerful & full of belief that He will make a way, will in turn make a way. It more than likely won't be on our timeline...and we will more than likely have our faith tested to the point of no return, but it's always that moment where things shift in the right direction and life makes that next rotation.

There is a testimony in every situation, whether it was the wait to find a new job or having to face an unexpected failure...that moment of restlessness when you didn't know if you would make it at all. All of those moments are meant for some reason, some purpose. It may take us forever to realize how all these events worked together to set us up in the perfect position but it's my prayer that in the end it will all make sense.

I'm looking forward to this new season. Even if I have to remind myself a million times when I get into my mood of wanting everything RIGHT NOW (husband, house, dog) I cannot forget about that one constant throughout all the seasons... Somethings are just worth waiting for, even if you have to wait longer than anticipated for the season to change.