Houston.

I went to bed last night with thunder, torrential rains & hail providing the soundtrack for my slumber. I didn't think much of it, as it has pretty much been raining everyday lately...hence my lack of activity & pep. 

But the stormed raged on well into the night..... And when I woke up this morning, I quickly learned that the majority of our city was either slightly flooded or underwater. My morning ritual consists of scrolling through my Facebook timeline, where I read horror stories of friends who were stranded overnight on the roadways, cars flooded out and freeways & neighborhood streets looking more like lakes than roadways. 

Fortunately my side of town was spared for once, but other places in the city not so lucky. The flooding in Houston & other parts of Texas has been really bad. Worse than I would've imagined after a action packed Memorial Day weekend. 

Needless to say, I didn't have court this morning & my route to work was among those experiencing flooding so my three day weekend became a four day... I just hate it was at the expense of our city. 

The road ways have been cleared and the water is receding, but the damage is done. 

Surprisingly after all the rain last night, the weather today was perfection. Sunlight beaming down, the quiet after the storm. 

Funny how storms can seem to rage on forever, only for the sun to shine once again. A cleansing, renewal and a new day. Light beaming, illuminating the way as we pick up the pieces and attempt to rebuild. 

More rain is in our forecast, but I am hoping it is nothing like yesterday. The Bayou City has seen many a flood, but this one definitely was one for the history books. 

I'm praying for a dry and prosperous week and upcoming weekend & sending positive thoughts and affirmations to those left recovering all that was lost. 

And I am definitely praying for Houston. 

The Beauty of It All.....

It's not often I allow myself to surrender control...
I live by the rules, sometimes painstakingly so.
I'm easily irritated by change, by lateness, minor deviations from the norm, haphazard spontaneity....
Lack of a concrete plan has been known to send me over the edge.
I crave control, I yearn for it.. It has been my ultimate desire.
My kryptonite.
My weakness.

But, oh. When I let go.

When I release the reins, transfer the power.
I shut down, I feel lost.
My heart races.
I need to know what time to be ready.
No, the precise time. An estimate isn't good enough.
The who, the what, the when, the why...

But when I let go.

This weekend I agreed to spend time with someone. As the day grew nearer, I requested details but was met with nonchalant responses & half-assed details. I was forced to deal with the numerous scenarios in my mind. As I ran through the possibilities of what could go wrong, I missed out on the opportunities to enjoy the excitement of what could go right. I was too busy worried about what the day would entail instead of finding amusement in allowing someone else to execute the perfect plan to make my Saturday enjoyable.

Oh, but when I let go.

When I finally stopped worrying, and wanting to be in complete control of the day, I was surprised to see that every detail had been thought out perfectly. A picnic in the park on Lake Houston, a menu, blankets (on top of tarp in case the ground was damp) and a backdrop accompanied by the perfect soundtrack to make my day memorable.

When I let go.

I allow myself the chance to bask in the moment.
To feel the wind blow through my hair.

The warmth of the sun, I feel every ray on my skin.
I taste the air, the sweetness of a flower blooming in the distance.
Honey suckle.
A bloom.

When I let go, I allow myself to be free & freeness isn't bogged down by stress.
It's light-hearted, it's carefree.
Time stops and you are in the moment.

You are still. You can truly enjoy.
The presence. The conversation. The togetherness.
The moment.

And when I let go, I am able to fully appreciate the beauty of it all......

My Sunday has been filled with laziness & love.

And of course, flowers.

It has been a very chill day that included a trip to the nursery.

It's been ages since I've actually been to a nursery to look at flowers.

I envision that when I finally purchase a home it being covered with all sorts of annuals & perennials.

My grandmother has a green thumb & the love of gardening was passed down.

Very fitting that a family outing to the nursery ensued on Mother's Day.

As my mother, sister and aunt perused the aisles, I allowed myself to get lost.

So much beauty...

The vibrancy of the petals, the fragility of the leaves, all deeply rooted in the enriching soil. The flowers don't force themselves to bloom, they have no control over which bee will cause cross-pollination, their color...the petals that will get blown away in the wind.

They just exist beautifully. The rain falls when it must, and when the clouds aren't too overbearing the sun is allowed to shine light strengthening all that's down below. But they have no control.

They take root where they are planted. They grow, and sometimes if they are lucky enough, they grow back the next season...but when they don't, they have at least left the memory of the beautiful flower they produced before they met their demise.

When I let go, the beauty of it all is evident.

I exist in the moment, I am the moment.

It's okay to let go. It's okay to live solely for the days that are not dictated by plans, the days where your schedule has gone to shit, but the memories last a life time. I can say that the times I've let go I have enjoyed myself.

When I give up the need to be in control, when I let go...

It has been beautiful.

Flowers.

A sea of photos detail the beginnings of my May.

This past Friday, my friend and I ventured to Chicago for the weekend. We didn't have any rhyme or reason for our trip, and literally on a whim saw flight deals from Houston to Chicago and decided to randomly go. In the midst of looking for hotel rooms, we discovered that the NFL draft was being held the same weekend we were scheduled to be in town as well as a host of other events. We set off with no agenda or itinerary, just the desire to enjoy ourselves and have a good time.

It was close to midnight by the time we made it to our hotel. Danielle, who checked us in at the front desk, armed us with a ton of suggestions on places we should visit while we were in town. After debating over whether we wanted to be old ladies or venture out, we decided to get our lives together and head out towards Hubbard Street.

First off, our hotel was perfectly situated by the river and walking distance from a large majority of the sights we wanted to see. As we walked towards Hubbard, we stumbled upon a display of all the NFL teams in the courtyard directly across from the Chicago Tribune.

And of course we had to represent for the home team, and take some obligatory photos by the Texans helmet... I'm not a big NFL person surprisingly, but I do love my JJ Watt team.

I'm easily distracted, so of course I was mesmerized by the architecture, the sculptures and just the overall essence of the city at nighttime.

I snapped some pictures of the columns, and then turned my attention back to the NFL display....

I love New Orleans, so I snapped a quick shot of the Saints helmet for good measure & we continued our journey in search of Hubbard.

Let me first start off by saying that Hubbard Street was a lot. It's very reminiscent of 6th Street in Austin... a lot of drunk co-eds, a lot of too short dresses and too high heels and lest I not forget... drunk co-eds. Maybe ten years ago this type of scene would have excited me, but now it just makes me hold on to my purse tight and frown judgingly. I'm all about a good drunk fun time circa Bourbon Street (in New Orleans) but people under the age of 25 haven't really mastered the art of knowing their limits... There were plenty of people stumbling to the ground, police/ambulance, and a whole lot of vomit.

Not cute at all....

We both agreed that we were too old for this scene and decided to go out in search of food... but unfortunately we did not leave fast enough, because by the time we had made it halfway out of hell the crowds, an unidentified gentleman grabbed at my friends parts. Fortunately she was able to swat his hand away before he was able to get a handful of the merchandise, but it stood as yet another reminder that we did not need to be on Hubbard. We were also accosted by a pimp and a ton of people selling CD's.

Welcome to Chicago, I guess.

Needless to say, we spent the rest of the night devouring our food, and laughing hysterically at the events of our short time on Hubbard.

Although it was well after three am when we went to sleep, we still woke up bright, early & anxious to see the city.

It,
Was,
Absolutely,
Amazing,
Outside.

Literally breathtakingly amazing weather....

I said I wanted blooms for May, and boy did I receive them. Tulips everywhere. Beautiful flowers lined the streets as we made our way down Michigan Avenue & the Magnificent Mile. I waved at Nordstrom's as well continued our trek to the Navy Pier. Let's just say we did a LOT of walking....

So much so that we devoured lunch, and then splurged on churros & vodka flavored snowcones. While we enjoyed our treats, we were overcome with the beauty of it all. Sometimes a beautiful day, can remind you of just how beautiful your life really is. We had to take a praise break and just absorb our surroundings..... It's truly a blessing to be able to experience so many things. We had to take a moment to acknowledge just how far we had come & and just how much more we had to go.

I'm glad I was able to share that moment with my friend, in light of that weekend being the anniversary of us passing the bar and overcoming so much to make it in our profession.

Good stuff.

From the Navy Pier, we walked to Millennium Park, through the Art Institute and over to NFL Draft town.

Again I'm not the biggest NFL fan, but we still had to represent for the home team.... Go Texans!

After all of those miles walked, we crashed for a few hours then woke up ravenous. We decided to try Lou Malnati's for dinner & were treated to a pure orgasmic experience with our deep dish Italian sausage classic Chicago pizza.

Devoured.

Through instagram hashtags, I found an event for us to attend that night at NYCH gallery. We didn't know what to expect, but surprisingly ended up having a great time and meeting some really nice people. We watched the fight, admired the art, laughed at the locals then ubered to Greektown where we sat another hour talking to our new friends....

It was after 3 when we made it back to our room. After sharing a few more laughs, I fell asleep. I think the laughs are the best part of all our trips. The memories last, but the jokes and laughter last even longer in my opinion. I can't always remember where I went, or who I met but I can always remember the moments that made me laugh until tears stream down my eyes.

We were up early again to check out of our hotel & meet up with our friends who live in Chicago for brunch. It was great to catch up and pick up right where we left off with friends neither of us had seen in over 3 years. The food at Wildberry's Pancakes was also amazing. (The bacon omelet, hashbrowns & apple pecan cinnamon pancakes tasted way better than they photographed...)

After brunch we headed back down the Magnificent Mile so I can could get some shopping done. I didn't buy much, but I did buy a lovely pair of sunglasses that I will be wearing the heck out of this summer. After that, we were ready to go retrieve our luggage and make our way back to the airport so we could catch our flight.

What started off as a spontaneous trip to Chicago, literally ended up being full of beautiful moments & scenes that I will cherish for years to come. Life can be absolutely beautiful, and sometimes it takes letting go and just taking that leap without truly having a plan to experience the greatest moments of all. I feel as if we had over thought this trip it would not have been as fun. It was fun exploring the city, taking in the sights and being forced to acknowledge just how blessed I am. Around every corner was a bright speckle of color turning the ordinary into the extraordinary.

May will definitely be full of flowers.

Ode to April.

Pardon my French, but... 

Fuck April.

April, oh April. 

You've brought plenty of showers. 

Rain storms in the form of stress, sleepless nights, worry. 

Unwanted changes, hospital scares, random trips to the ER. 

Grown up decisions. 

Did I mention lack of sleep? 

I've been so worn out. 

So many weeks of hearing tales of how rough you have been to my friends. 

Everybody has seriously been through it this month... But fortunately there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

April showers, bring May flowers. 

That's my hope & belief. 

All the rain has set up May to be full of growth, increase, light, color, abundance & most importantly flowers. 

I can't say April was all bad, because it did have its share of good. 

I got to see a close friend marry the love of his life in New Orleans, I put on my first event with the organization I'm the social chair of, but most of all I've laughed so much that I'm almost certain all the trials and tribulations of this month will be funny to me in a few years. I can honestly say that although I didn't accomplish many of the goals I set for myself last month, I do still feel like this month was worth it. 

It takes hard times to truly appreciate the good ones. It takes something major for you to realize what and who is really important in life. Sometimes it takes you losing control, to truly be in control of things. 

April, I thank you for the lessons & the blessings, but I am so happy to see you go. One more full day till May..... 

And I'm ready for my blooms. 

April Goals....

The first three months of 2015 went by ridiculously fast. Slightly whirlwind-ish I would say. Now that the dust has settled and a new month is upon us, I'm looking forward to all that April has to bring. 

In an attempt to hold myself accountable, I decided to make some goals for the month for myself.

1) Read two books. I've been slacking. Work has been so overwhelmingly draining that the thought of having to read once I leave my office gives me hives. Not cool at all. I don't want to lose touch with one of my favorite past times simply because work has been so draining as of late. 

2) Spend QT with my sister. I get so caught up in the day to day that we rarely make time to do things with each other, which is also not cool. 

3) Actually work out. This one is self explanatory, but the way the weeks are set up this year it will be summer before we know it.  I'd prefer to be ready for it. 

4) Step my savings game up.... I've been doing a lot of spending, but slacking on the saving. I need to make sure I pay (myself) before I play. 

5) I would like to either try three new restaurants or events that I've never been to. I like having new experiences and there are plenty of things to do in Houston that I've neglected to explore and experience. 

For example, the Bayou City Arts Fest. This was my first year going and I loved it! So proud of my friend who iscurrently serving as Board President of the Houston Arts Alliance. They are responsible for hosting the festival and it turned out amazingly!!!

 

6) My most important goal for the month, and really the whole rest of the year is to step up my faith. I still struggle with doubt. The unknown terrifies me... But I get stronger with every lesson learned. I know I'm a work in progress, but I really want to hold myself accountable to recognizing my moments of doubt and leaning on Him moreso than leaning on my own understanding & reasoning.  

And with that, cheers to April!

A Journey.......

I didn't want to get out of bed Sunday morning.... My week was filled with phone calls that never came, devoid of the good morning texts I had become accustomed to, hours upon hours of days without the sun & entirely too many documents to review in the office. Needless to say my attitude had been on a continuous downward spiral and wallowing in the bed seemed like a much more viable option than getting up for church that morning. Fortunately, by habit I've trained myself to immediately roll over and check my phone first thing in the morning for any messages that may have come through while I was asleep. A text. Church..... I painstakingly rolled over and got dressed to meet my friends at the church we visited earlier this month.

As I waited for my friends arrival, the sun covered me and I instantly felt a moment of gratitude.
A moment of tranquility in the midst of the chaos that had gathered inside my mind.
And then we walked in, and after the pomp and circumstance the actual church service began...
By the first few sentences I knew this would be a message sent straight from the Lord specifically for my ears to hear.

The sermon was handcrafted to bring tears streaming down my face, and that it did.
As the pastor preached on having faith in the midst of waiting for your prayers to be answered I openly wept. Not because I was unhappy or sad, but because it truly brought comfort to me to know that what I was feeling was natural. So many times I had asked when would my prayers be answered. So many times, the things I have wanted so bad had been delayed and I truly had begun to lose hope in feeling as if those things would ever come true for me. There have been so many times where I let others drag me into believing that certain things would never come into fruition and that it was pointless to continue to pray for them to come true. The whole week prior to that moment I had asked myself why it appeared as if everyone elses prayers were being answered but mine...dreams were coming true, relationships were blooming,goals being achieved...but my prayers on halt for whatever reason.... The whole sermon was my reality...

Faith. The word slapped me in the face as it has so many times before. The one virtue that has constantly wavered throughout my journey, always a constant reminder that I must have faith. There will be obstacles and delays. Prayers will be answered in whatever order the Lord sees fit, but faith is something I must continuously have. I don't know how long it will take, but whenever it happens I will be glad it did. I must have faith and not lose sight of what I want in life just because it isn't coming when I want it to. I must continue to have faith along this journey and never cease praying for the desires in my heart. Even in the midst of waiting... I must have faith.


Patience.

After church, my friends and I decided to meet up in the park for a bike ride. I literally have not rode a bicycle since like 1994...
Seriously.
As usual I had my reservations, but I figured since the day was so beautiful I may as well forego my usual Sunday lounging & get out and do something different.

After what seemed like hours of waiting before our journey began, we finally headed out.

I would be lying if I said it was easy, and that I didn't want to give up so many times. There were so many turns and twists... Bumps along the way... obstacles. I had moments where I had to stop and catch my breathe and fight back tears because I literally felt as if I could not go on.

At one point, I watched as my friends set out in front of me as I lagged behind. I felt defeated, and almost envious as I watched them in the distance. Left behind. Almost losing control. But not once did I fall.

My friends brother stayed behind and offered advice & encouragement... We traveled at our own pace, as I admired the scenery. We rode through the park, into downtown and then finally we reached a stopping point.

As I hopped off my bike, I not only felt angry but annoyed that they had sped by so many things without taking the opportunity to gaze upon the sights...
and in that moment of frustration (and one of my friends popping off) I turned around and saw what the rush had been about. The view of the entire downtown skyline was behind us.

Sometimes life is not about keeping up the pace with everyone else. Everyone has their own obstacles to overcome, their own sights to see, their own falls...setbacks, twists and turns...but ultimately if you keep pushing and moving forward you will all make it in the exact manner that you are supposed to. There is no need to rush, or take short cuts... Just keep going, and working towards your goals....

After taking a moment to admire our city and have a mini-photo session, we took off for our next destination...
Mango Beach.

Snow cones & fried desserts gave us the fuel we needed to finish the final leg of our ride.

I was able to keep up the rest of the way. After miles of practice, I finally got the hang of things.

It was easy, like riding a bike.....
No pun intended.

I had to fight through it, but I didn't lose sight of our final destination.
I had moments of weakness, but I told myself to keep pushing.... keep pedaling, until finally we made it.

Life really is a journey. We must have faith in knowing that one day everything will fall into place. Every set back, and every delay will prepare us for that moment when we are ready to cross the finish line. All the people that leave us behind, everyone that you watch in the distance.... Maybe they left for a reason, and maybe they are too far off in the the distance for us to really see the things they are dealing with on their own. Just keep going.

The feeling of finally making it feels so good, but the battle getting there is what really matters.

Life really is a journey...