busy.

I told my friend the other night that I feel like all I do is work, read, watch Law & Order & go to happy hour. She said that sounded like perfection, minus the whole being single part. Parts of me agree with that, but then there is always that underlying feeling of loneliness. Idle time usually sends my mind racing into the unknown. My biggest fears reside in the unknown. The wondering, the second-guessing, it all lives in those moments of quiet solitude. I guess staying busy is my coping mechanism. But I'm tired. I don't think I can continue running myself ragged simply because I don't want to feel the loneliness. I promised myself I would continue to keep a positive outlook on life, but does that mean that I'm not allowed to have moments of vulnerability? I can try to fill my time with busy... I can keep going, and going & going, but eventually won't I crash? I find myself feeling guilty for wanting more. Why can't I just be content, with contentment? Maybe the grass just looks greener on the other side, or maybe I'm just feeling extra emotional tonight... I'm not really sure, I just hope this moment passes as quickly as it came upon me. Until then, I'll remain busy...

And with that being said, busy...the definition of these last few days of my life.

Last Thursday, my book club had a meeting wherein we discussed The Husband's Secret, by Liane Moriarty. The book started out slow, and there were quite a few characters to keep up with. Once the story picked up a bit, it all began to make sense how all the characters lives were woven together & it was revealed just how big of a secret that husband was keeping. It was a great read, and led to a lot of discussion by the group as to whether it should be made into a movie or not. We chose The Fault in Our Stars by John Green for our February read....

After the meeting was over, we made a detour for The Chocolate Bar. Not really sure why, but after the frozen maitai's I guess it just felt like a good idea. We bought chocolate, and marveled over all of the novelty chocolate items inside...

For some reason I cannot remember Friday....And I didn't take any pictures to evidence it ever existing, but I'm sure it did.

I woke up late Saturday, and spent the daytime hours celebrating my sister's birthday and the evening hours catching up with my friend who had just made it into town. He was tired from driving, and I was just tired from all the busy so there was more sleeping than catching up.

The weather was terrible Sunday. It was super cold & rainy. My friend and I ran around for a few hours, before I met up with my girlfriends for dinner/Super Bowl half-time show watching... The food was amazing, the game not-so-much.

We spent the majority of our time eating, listening to music, trying to remember the choreography to the Bunny Hop & just laughing. I was falling asleep on the floor before 10, so I knew it was time for me to officially head home to retire for the evening. I feel like I was asleep before my head hit my pillow...

The majority of my day today was spent working, over-analyzing & over-thinking... oh, and creating the mood that I've been in since I left my office & currently still reside in. Maybe blame it on the rain, or maybe I should cue up my favorite episode of Saved By the Bell and just ravish in my Jessi Spano moment...please reference YouTube if you don't remember that episode, "I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so excited" or maybe I've just been too busy....