A Taste of Spring....

The weather this weekend was perfection! It finally felt like Spring for a chance, and I was able to get out and enjoy it for a bit this weekend before I came home to rest & prepare for the upcoming work week.

I survived my first week at my new office, and met up with a friend for happy hour Friday.... Hmm, let's just say I under-estimated the strength of the margaritas at Cyclone Anaya's. You really do only need one. But I digress.... And plead the fifth....

Seasons

Life is about perpetual change. We learn, we evolve, we grow older... We face hardships, we experience happiness, we make mistakes. There are very few things in life that actually stay the same. Sometimes we enter periods of our lives where it feels like things will never be different from the way they are now. We see the situation we are in, but we fail to look beyond them.

For me, it was as if I had convinced myself that good things only happen to other people. I would see the celebrations, the promotions, the new additions and I would ask myself when would it be my turn? After posing that question so many times without seeing results, I lost hope that I was one of the chosen ones. I told myself that it would never be my turn.

Sometimes you genuinely have to detach yourself, from yourself.... Your thoughts, your so-called expectations and ideals of how things are supposed to be can sometimes be your own worse enemy. I had so many plans of what should be vs. what should really be at the moment. I craved change, but fought against it for so long. I stayed in situations longer than I should have. I talked myself out of opportunities. I avoided conflict, played it safe. I did all of these things just to preserve something that I was afraid to let go of. I stopped looking because I was just so sure that there was nothing, or nobody else out there for me.

My biggest mistake was failing to realize the only constant in my life, the Lord. All of those situations, all of those seasons, all of those changes...He has been there all along. I don't know how I ignored all those currants of life. All of those ups, downs, and periods of stillness that have written the story of who I am today. I've had extremely difficult times, and pure blissful ones as well. But through them all, God has been there to steer me in the right direction even when I have made the wrong decisions. Even when I didn't see a way out, he placed me in the right places at the right times. Although I don't have all the things I've convinced myself that I need at this moment...His track record has proven that they will all come in due time.

I prayed for an opportunity to come up. I prayed for increase. I prayed for something to catapult me into the right direction. I'd given up, and convinced myself that it would never happen. Time passed. I stopped looking. I settled back into my normal routine, and when I least expected it things just fell into place. As the seasons change, so does life into a new direction of this journey I've been placed upon.

Not only does tomorrow bring about Spring, it also brings about a first day in a new position for me. A new set of challenges, a different skill set to be utilized...a change. Seasons change, but one thing that remains the same is His love for us... Staying faithful, prayerful & full of belief that He will make a way, will in turn make a way. It more than likely won't be on our timeline...and we will more than likely have our faith tested to the point of no return, but it's always that moment where things shift in the right direction and life makes that next rotation.

There is a testimony in every situation, whether it was the wait to find a new job or having to face an unexpected failure...that moment of restlessness when you didn't know if you would make it at all. All of those moments are meant for some reason, some purpose. It may take us forever to realize how all these events worked together to set us up in the perfect position but it's my prayer that in the end it will all make sense.

I'm looking forward to this new season. Even if I have to remind myself a million times when I get into my mood of wanting everything RIGHT NOW (husband, house, dog) I cannot forget about that one constant throughout all the seasons... Somethings are just worth waiting for, even if you have to wait longer than anticipated for the season to change.

Cheers to the Weekend.....

Two of my girlfriends from undergrad celebrated their birthdays this weekend, which meant non-stop action resulting in my being in bed well before nightfall yesterday.... Good times.

It all started Friday with shots & and a Louisiana mix by the DJ. The perfect recipe for a wonderful night out. It was definitely an adventure. Anytime you're left with only very few pictures you can actually share with the world, you know fun was had by all.

Saturday was made for recovery. I pretty much was immobile the entire day, and got myself together in time for a birthday dinner that night at Rouxpour. The food was delicious & we stayed there chatting it up until it was closing time at the restaurant.

Funny how I've known all these ladies for over 10 years..... We all stayed in the same dorm in undergrad (I stayed in two different dorms while I was there) & were members of the Honor's College at Southern. Back then I never would have imagined us all as real grown ups, but here we are all living it up and being successful ladies!

On Sunday morning, we all met up again for brunch at Royal Oak. It was super laid back and the perfect way to end the weekend....

I enjoyed all the QT with my girls, and I'm glad they both enjoyed their special days collectively. A cold front came, so it's not really feeling like Spring yet...but it will be here in just a few days. I'm looking forward to warmer weather & and I am praying that the Lord continues to bless us all in this new season. Changes are coming, and I welcome them with open arms :)

lately...

My friend introduced me to a new life mantra... "I am confident & capable." I've been repeating this whenever I feel any slivers of doubt creeping into my mind. My March is already a whirlwind, and it's only 9 days in... So many things on the horizon, and I am so grateful to the Lord for blessing me beyond my wildest of dreams. These last couple of weeks I have been praying for a lot of different things, and trying to remain steadfast with my faith... I'm trying to stay centered and remind myself that no matter what, the Lord will always make a way for us.

Moving along....

Instead of it actually feeling like the month of March in Texas, it's been cold. This is so unlike Texas & I really can't remember it ever being so cold for this long. In true Houston form, we had one day of temperatures in the upper 80's and by the next morning I was back in my coat. But at least I got to feel Spring-like for one day before I was back in layers...

We celebrated Mardi Gras by hitting up Pappadeaux for swamp things (a drink similar to a hurricane) and got commemorative glasses... It definitely wasn't New Orleans, but at least it felt like we were there, lol...

I went to the Rockets vs Miami Heat game on Fat Tuesday! It was a great game, even though we only stayed in our actual seats for not even 15 mins... Long story, but definitely fun-tastic! And we won! We made some new friends at the game who insisted on keeping our glasses full, so we were on another level by the time we left. We made a pit-stop for food & ended up on a short adventure before I finally headed home for the night... P.S. It was freezing by the time Tuesday rolled around, so I finally got to wear my fur.. My friend said she felt like she was going to the game with one of the cast members from Basketball Wives. At least I was warm....

I got bored with wearing my hair straight, so I've been using foam rollers to switch things up a bit...I may actually try a twist-out or other non-heat hair style once the temperatures rise up a bit. Natural hair is so diverse, but I digress...

My friend and I went to the rodeo this past Friday, for Black Heritage Night & a performance by Usher. The rodeo is a major event in Houston, and I definitely wanted to make sure he experienced it since he is new to the city. I enjoyed watching him stare in disbelief at all the people walking around in full rodeo gear...head to toe boots, cowboys & the whole nine yards. We take the rodeo serious down here! I didn't take too many pictures because my iPhone is in serious need of retirement, and the battery keeps draining anytime I try to take photos, or text...or pretty much do anything with my phone... *insert side eye

I did manage to take this selfie of myself in my new glasses which I love! I told myself that I would smile more.... I guess that goes with the whole "confident" aspect of the mantra...

Anyway, I dedicated the month of March to progress & strengthening faith. So far, so good. I'm already over Daylight Savings Time, but I do plan to spend the remainder of my Sunday being productive & prepping for the rest of the work week.... Two of my girlfriends are celebrating their birthdays this upcoming weekend, so I will need all the rest & calm I can get this week before then.... I'm just hoping it warms up.

God's Timing..........

Over and over again, The Lord has proven that regardless of what I am going through He will always make a way for me. Even when I don't acknowledge the doors He has opened, or I attribute those minor happenings to luck or circumstance, He always continues to have my best interest at heart.

I've heard so many stories of everything just falling into place. The moments we stop planning, or trying to make things happen is when the miracles tend to occur. But why do we struggle so hard with trying to control things? I know without action, there will be no progress. I also know that with all action we must trust wholeheartedly in the abilities and the vision that has been placed inside of us. But how do we get to the point where we can truly let go and release all control? Is that the definition of faith?

I went to a speed-networking event last night, where attorneys licensed 5 years or less got the chance to sit down with more seasoned Judges & attorneys and ask them various questions about their journey. The majority of advice I received was encouraging, but there were a few conversations that left me feeling some type of way..some type of way. But seriously. I had the chance to speak to one of the only African-American female federal court judges, and she told me point blank that I need to start being fabulous... Easier said than done, but she was 100% serious. I spoke with another gentleman who had been practicing for over 15 years. He told me that I "need to get my life together" because I've been licensed too long to not know what I want to do for the remainder of my legal career. Yet another conversation that left me feeling some type of way.... I'm pretty sure their intentions were well, but maybe I didn't receive the message the way they intended. I feel like I've literally been struggling to desperately get my life together the last few years. From studying hard to become licensed, to getting fed up with job-hunting and rolling the dice to start my own practice...only to be faced with the decision to stop what I was doing to accept an opportunity with a firm doing a fellowship, to finally coming up on the end of my fellowship grant period to get hired by the firm I am currently with. My path hasn't been as straight and paved as most of the lawyers I met last night, but it's been my own. I try not to dwell on the should of, could of, would of scenarios when I look back on how things have worked out for me. I try not to let others critic my path too much, because they don't necessarily understand the moves I had to make to get to where I am. I may not be 100% certain of where I want to go, but I do 100% understand that all of those moves were designed specifically for me by God. I've cried so many tears, just wondering when something is going to happen. I've beat myself up so often just wondering when my big break would occur. I have even had moments where I cursed myself for even wanting to become an attorney, as it seems like it was more of a burden than a blessing. I told myself that while I was in law school gaining debt, everyone else was starting their lives and families. I convinced myself that I had to settle for the strays, because men are intimidated by the term attorney. I even got into the habit of telling people I met that I worked at the courthouse, just to avoid the awkwardness of explaining exactly what it is I actually do. I've avoided the praise, and downplayed the accomplishments I have made just because I didn't see them as "enough" as odd as that actually seems. But why? I have been blessed so tremendously, why would I ever want to downplay a gift from God. And then I feel guilty, because even as I type this I realize that 'that' is exactly what I've been doing. So maybe Judge was right, I do need to start being fabulous, feeling fabulous and realizing that a lot of the accomplishments I downplay have been fabulous... Hmm, epiphany or nah?

My faith needs to strengthen. I need to realize the strides I have made..... But I also need to realize that I cannot compare my walk, nor can I try to take short cuts or left turns on red.... I need to continue to acknowledge that God's timing has always been perfect, creating the right opportunities and chances.... Even when I have tried to rush things, and do things my own way instead of what I knew was right, everything has worked out in the end. I need to pray more, and just believe. There are so many desires in my heart, and He knows them all. I just need to be patient and realize that in His time, not mine, everything will work out for my good.

--Trust in the Lord with all thine Heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and he shall direct thy path.

I'm in prayer for so many things. I want to make moves career wise, spiritually and personally. Life is like that I guess. We waste so much time wanting more, that we neglect what we already have. But would the vision have been implanted in us if we were to never bring it to pass? Faith is essential. Please continue to guide me Lord.......

Words.

Inspiration comes in so many forms. It can be in a casual conversation with a friend, or even the words of a stranger. Sometimes it only takes a few syllables to convey a powerful message. It can be so simple, or even just a few letters written out that can give your situation so much more meaning. Words are very powerful. I think that may be one of the reasons I enjoy reading so much.

Today was a Books & Brunch day... Our book club met up to discuss our February read, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. I wasn't quite sure what to expect with this book, especially since it is technically considered a young adult novel. Fortunately, I was pleasantly surprised. It's definitely an easy read, and there were moments where I had to put the book down to prevent tears from falling from my eyes..but overall a good star crossed love story. I enjoyed Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet when I was in high school, and this book gave me the same feeling I got from reading that all those years ago. Life. It's just, life.

After we discussed our read, a friend of mine who just wrote his first book stopped by our meeting to discuss what he has going on in his world. He wrote a children's book detailing his WALK (as in literally walking) from Texas to California. It took him 4 months to walk all those miles in hopes of raising awareness for homelessness. He wants to inspire children to be aware of issues around them, and give them hope that they can actually do something to change the world. His words were very inspiring, and thought provoking.... The meeting has been over for hours, and I'm still thinking of what exactly I can do to play a part in something so much greater than myself.

I've been reflecting a lot lately. This month has been a lot, but I feel like slowly but surely I am getting back to feeling like myself. Slowing down is essential. I can't always keep looking towards the future and failing to appreciate the moment, the present. Life should be enjoyed, but not at fast pace. I'd rather savor the moments...even if they come at their own pace. My pace. Words are very powerful, and I need to pay attention to the ones I keep telling myself.