Too Much

Today is one of those stare out the window, wonder where the sun has gone, spend too many minutes ignoring emails, while you try to figure out your purpose in life kind of days for me. I'm legit in my office wrapped in a blanket, questioning if I have enough money in my savings to give up this attorney gig & just start over writing poems on the beach or teaching yoga for puppies.

 I'm just not feeling it today. 

But I digress.  

Maybe the extreme level of not feeling it has taken hold of me because I know my vacation is on the horizon. I just have to muster through two more work days, then tropical delights await me in Puerto Rico. 

This month has just been.... Heavy. So much has happened in such a small amount of time that it's slightly overwhelming. Work is nonstop, the days are a blur and I'm genuinely exhausted. I really need a nap, a massage, and another nap. I do not see how people are managing their lives in addition to being married, taking care of children, and keeping enough sanity to avoid backflipping off a bridge. I mean sheesh, I feel like I'm barely hanging on with just the puppy & he atleast can be crated. 

I'm ranting and complaining, but I am seriously wondering how it works. And let's not even begin to discuss the gym, and meal planning and everything else being grown as fuck entails. I don't know if I need a husband or a personal assistant at this point.....

But it's all good little Fal. You're striving and surviving just like everyone else. Figuring it out along the way. Learning and adjusting when need be, but my God when does it end? < Yes, I took an interlude to give myself a pep talk.... >

Surely life is more than just being grown. Locked into routine, day after day a constant repeat of work, work, work, work work or is that what vacations are made for? Because at this point even my social life is accessible via my Outlook calendar with no room for spontaneity. Dates are strategically planned between he (him's) and I's meetings, work days & to do-s, coupled with, but first let me take my dog out then I can's....

Like real talk, how are you are all not completely insane yet??? 

April.

I know it gets redundant after awhile, but seriously how is it already April? Like the year is already a quarter of the way over...   And here I am, still feeling like I have all the time in the world, yet time is constantly passing by without my knowledge or permission. I guess that's why they say live everyday to the fullest, because at this rate those days certainly can appear as numbers with no recollection of who, what, when, where how or why about them. 

For me, April 1st brings about my official two week countdown to Puerto Rico..... Which hopefully entails my working out some more, and buying another cute swim suit that I can wear without shame. Notice I said "some more" because I really haven't been working out at all.  Daylight savings time stole my thunder. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

I have been so busy with work, and deadlines and just overall stress that I need a vacation badly. My car has been giving me issues, and I've just been tired. Life can creep up on you with no warning. Another focus of mine for this month is to work on making some fiscally responsible decisions. Save money, spend wisely and try to make every transaction worth something. 

Planning & purchasing. I don't have anything planned after I get back from Puerto Rico for the month of May. I don't like that. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that some sort of excursion drops in my lap. I'm also planning a friends 30th in New Orleans, so this month will spend a lot of time focusing on those details. I'm also assisting with a bachelorette weekend in Florida. I need to start thinking of things to do in that regard as well. 

April may not know it yet, but I plan to get back on board with getting my life together. I had fun (entirely too much fun) in March, but I got overall lazy. I need for April to be real namasté. 

We shall see how it all goes! 

A Whirlwind.

Tumultuous or rapid: the date is March 22, 2016, and the term whirlwind would be the only accurate depiction of how these last few weeks of existence have been. I'm probably being only 75% overly dramatic at the moment, but in a nutshell these days have been moving by hella swift. 

It feels like I was just in New Orleans for Mardi Gras, and here I am now less than a month away from my "spring break" trip to Puerto Rico. I was doing so well with my daily work outs, but the way day light savings time was set up, I've fell off tremendously. But, with 24 days to go until I will be beachside, I still think there is a chance for some slim fine miracles to occur. If not, I have some pretty cute caftans. Moving along.....

Oh life. God has a sense of humor. Sometimes I can't tell if He's making me go through experiences for the lesson, or merely for the laughter. His laughter of course, not mine at least until a few weeks later when things don't seem as bad. I just cannot. Condensed version of this story, if something or someone seems too good to be true, or if something happens too easily, it probably isn't worth it at all. I had a "situation" fall into my lap recently, and it took a lot of convincing on my part to not let the situation get too complicated, messy or drama-filled. Although it was rather tempting, I had to recheck my own self worth and just say that apparently I need to still be waiting for the right person and not settling, forcing or sharing that right person with anybody else.  But I digress.

 Friends can definitely help you put a lot of things in perspective. I had to call an executive advisory board meeting to work myself out of this situation. I'm grateful for the genuine people in my life who aren't afraid to tell me I'm screwing up, or even be so brutally honest with me that I have no choice but to bravely face reality. Friendship has always been something I hold up there with my list of most important things. Beside my family, my network of REAL friends have kept me sane plenty of days. Friendship to me isn't based off the number of years you have known someone, how you know someone or why you know someone. It's all what they bring into your life whether it's support, encouragement or even just a non-biased opinion. One thing I truly hope is that I never lose sight of the importance of friendship. While the roles change, and the frequency of interactions may lesson as life gets too busy, I never want to end up one of those people who gets so caught up in what they have going on that they've lost all of their friends. I understand that marriage, and having children changes things, it just seems like a sad existence to lose that part of yourself completely. It seems miserable actually. So kudos to everyone who has managed to not forget about your single girlfriends who may not be living the same existence as you are, but who still value and cherish your friendship and still need you in some form or capacity. End rant. 

There are only a few days left in March, so I am hoping they are good ones. T'is the season for Spring finally making an appearance, even though it's been slightly cold here. I just want to enjoy these extra hours of sunshine as best as I can. March, I can say has not been that bad to me. I'm actually looking forward to riding this wave.....

March!

At only 9 days in, I can honestly say that my March is off to a waaaaaaaay better start than my January and February were. Not sure if it's a mental thing, or just a motivated to do better thing... but whatever it is I am here for it. 

Updates. I told myself that I needed to get myself in check. Physically, mentally, spiritually, just basically everything-ally. 

One thing I really needed to do was get my prayer life back on track. Moment of honesty, I'd gotten so used to the habit of not talking to God, that I almost completely forgot to do it all together. I wasn't praying. Not at all. Not for anything. Not even consciously thinking about it. How? I don't know. I can't pinpoint a when, why or true how, I just know I wasn't doing it. After a verbal lashing from one of my best friends, Itold myself that I needed to stop with the bs & get that consistent relationship and open dialogue back in tact. My soul depended on it. And thus far, I have been doing better. But I really want to focus on prayer, and strengthening my faith as I know that has always been something I struggle with. 

My body. In no means am I overweight. I weight 136lbs, which is like 6lbs above my goal weight.  But am I in shape? Hell no. Am I ready to sport a barely there swim suit on the beach in Puerto Rico next month with no shame? In my opinion, no. But I am working on it. I said I would work out everyday this month for 30 mins in the morning and learn a new yoga pose at night before bed, and put forth a consorted effort to either run (brisk walk?) or utilize the gym in my complex over the weekend. So far, so good. Except my hair. That needs help. It's hard being natural & wearing your hair straight, which I prefer and working out. It has definitely been a struggle on that end. 

I am having to get used to washing it everyday and just throwing coconut oil in there and praying for the best when I take my scarf off in the morning. I'm lazy as heck and genuinely despise working out. Like I hate it. I enjoy the burst of energy, but everything else about it I'm good. My whole body hurts. Apparently that's a good thing, but I'll pass. 

I'm trying to combat the negativity, the overthinking, the hibernation from the world...... all of that I'll say is definitely in the realm of work in progress. I'm looking forward to daylight savings time though and the extra sunlight to help me out on that end. 

March has promise and I can definitely dig that. I'm looking forward to everything that it has in store & I am hoping that it is way more than my expectations. 

But March is....... so far, so good. 

Leap Year

Let me start off by saying that my February was as mundane, lackluster, unmotivated and uninspired as my January. 

I had every intent to work out, eat better, create, write and a long list of other blah blah blahs and to-dos ready to go at the beginning of the month, but after I got back from New Orleans I retreated to my chaise lounge armed with the comfy-est blanket, my nook & my Netflix and just said nah. I didn't feel like being bothered with people, parking, paying, driving, or even getting dressed for that matter. I just wasn't feeling it. At all.....

There were some moments of getting myself together. A museum trip, brunch day, some book club discussions, a few lunch/dinner dates with some near & dears to me, but outside of those few moments of elation, my month has been meh. 

But thankfully, February has decided to give me an extra day to get over whatever rut that's been plaguing my existence and get myself ready to fully recover for March. 

I know it's normal to be in a funk. Life has been pretty busy on the work front, and just in general. But still, at some point I know I have to get over myself and just make some moves in the right direction. I always feel better when I have something to look forward to and thankfully there are some things on the horizon that should motivate me to roll over and get my life. 

March is always filled with sunshine, patios, birthdays and daylight savings time. I'm thinking the sun may hold the key to my mood doing a turnaround.....

I randomly bought a ticket to Puerto Rico for April a couple of weeks ago, and that alone is motivation enough for me to push the queso aside and downward dog or something! I mean, I would like to rock a two piece in paradise. With no shame, of course. 

Moving along.....

With that being said, today is my last day of whatever it is I've been going through. I'm changing my outlook to something more positive and I'm definitely looking forward to March! 

New Orleans.

Let me start off by saying that New Orleans is most arguably one of my favorite U.S. cities. It's just something about the city, the culture, the food, the music, the people.... I just cannot even begin to explain my love affair for this city. 

I'm fortunate enough to have lived less than an hour away from New Orleans during my time in college, so the visits were more than frequent. As an adult, it still feels like I find myself drawn to the city atleast once or twice a year and this year will be no different. 

 

This past weekend, my friends and I made our 2nd annual (as it appears to be becoming a tradition) trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras and the Zulu Ball. I had to cut my trip short due to other obligations, but that Thursday and Friday in the city were enough for me to get my fix for the weekend. 

I flew into New Orleans that Thursday afternoon, and after getting settled into my hotel walked over to Harrah's Casino to partake in a few complimentary beverages with my friends sister before the rest of our group arrived. 

Sadly, I did not hit it big. I did however partake in some slots & enjoyed a beverage or four from Harrah's. After we had our fill, we headed down the street to catch the tail end of the Krewe of Muses parade. 

It was cold out there, so we sobered right up as we managed to catch a few beads from the floats. 

We finally reached our stopping point and headed back to our hotel to meet up with our friends who had just arrived shortly after midnight. 

Everyone was pretty tired, so it was an early night for me....

Friday morning I was up bright and early. We went out and picked up our tickets for the ball, then headed back to pick up our other friends for breakfast before we checked into our other hotel and ran errands. 

The Trolley Stop is worth a trip on any New Orleans visit. I didn't take any pictures because I was too busy eating. 

After we ate, we made a Costco run to get our liquor for the ball (the Zulu Ball is a BYOB event) and a few other pit stops before we finally made our way back to hotel number two for some rest before we were scheduled to get our makeup done. 

I napped a bit. Then we walked a few blocked to meet up with our make up artist who came from Texas to set up shop to do makeup for all of his Zulu ball going clients. 

Steven Coleman is a miracle worker. Makeup was perfection. 

We waited a long while, and then eventually it was time to go to Zulu!

The Zulu Ball is the equivalent of a party with 20,000 of your closest friends, with unlimited food, drink and a concert featuring Charlie Wilson, and Juvenile that lasts till about 4:30 in the morning. 

There aren't many pictures because we were too busy dancing, but take my word for it, an excellent time was had by all. 

I probably slept for like two good hours that night before I was up and headed to the airport to catch my flight back to Houston. I was exhausted but satisfied. 

I got to see a lot of my old friends from college and make even more memories with my Zulu crew. 

Overall I enjoyed my 36 hours in New Orleans, and I can't wait till my next visit. I'm still recovering from the weekend, but I wouldn't change a thing about it. But that's New Orleans for you. 

Let's Just Say.......

Let's just say that I failed miserably at Januarying. My January was just too cold, too dark, too mundane and it ended with me being sick. The funny thing is, it wasn't even cold everyday in January. It just had a chill about it that I did not like. So February. 

Let's just say that I'm metaphorically pressing restart on the year and using this month as a do over. The plans, the to do's, the lists. I'm actually going to do something off one of them. I'm going to leave the excuse and strife that was January, in January. I'm going to get over myself and move forward. 

Rolling with the punches. Let's just say that I had a one punch, to completely knocked out spirit about me these last couple of weeks. It's like I had so much momentum and just like that life changed and I had to regroup. I didn't approach that change optimistically and kind of retreated into myself versus working around it or altering my plans to fit the current situation. I'm a work in progress, but I'm trying to relinquish my strong desire to control everything in my life. I'm trying. Work. In. Progress.... But I'm okay now. Life doesn't stop with one minor wrinkle in the fold. Just saying.....

February will be better. January wasn't bad, it just wasn't what I wanted it to be. February will. 

Next stop New Orleans......